Compassionate Conservatism

Critics have accused Prime Minister David Cameron of “cloying sentimentality” over his latest unemployment proposals. Mr Cameron, who deeply regrets the inconvenience of modernity on the lower classes, has promised to allow Britain’s underclass a taste of old-fashioned slavery. Speaking in the Commons last week, Cameron said that “for too long, the unemployed have been denied exploitation. Our aim is an equal society, in which all have the chance to be exploited.” Given the high levels of unemployment, Cameron’s proposal will allow the unemployed to trade their free benefits allowance for an equal sized allowance combined with modern slavery for such corporations as Tesco.